请英语高手帮我点评一下我的这篇英语四级作文,不甚感激.1：各大学开设了各种各样的选修课2：学生因为各种原因选择了不同的选修课3：以你自己为例.Whatelectivestochoose?Nowdifferentkindsofe
问题描述:
请英语高手帮我点评一下我的这篇英语四级作文,不甚感激.
1：各大学开设了各种各样的选修课
2：学生因为各种原因选择了不同的选修课
3：以你自己为例.
Whatelectivestochoose?
Nowdifferentkindsofelectivesareopenedtothecollegestudentsinmanyuniversity.Theysaytheelectiveswillexpandthestudents'viewandenrichtheirlife.
Differentstudentshavedifferentchoice.Somestudentsselectaclassoftaijiquan.Theythinkthattaijiquanisourtraditionalcreamandithavemagicpowertoattracttheytochoose.Inaddition,learningtaijiquanwillmaketheirhealthbetter.Andotherstudentslikeaclassofenvironmentinourlife.Theyholdthatenvironmentinourworldisgettingmoreandmoreworseandweshouldlearnsomethingtoprotectit.Moreover,todaymanystoresarearoundtheirschoolalwaysusegreatmanyofplasticbagsandboxes.
Formypart,IlikethecultureofChaoshan,soIselectaclassofChaoju.Theteacherinourclassisveryinterestingandhumor.Hisclassisrelaxed.Importantly,IcanlearnsomethingaboutthedevelopmentofChaojuandaskillofplay.Insum,itisagoodchoiceforme.
刘琚回答:
建议你注意用词和语法,比如单复数问题,你里面有很多语法错误,比如moreandmoreworse,worse已是比较级,所以不要再用more,直接用worseandworse就可以了,注意你的连接词,比如最后一段,importantly,应用mostimportantly,insum应改为tosumup.总之,你最好多看些范文并背一些固定句型和转折词.另外你最好分三段或四段些,即introduction--body--conclusion.